Should I use the "F" word to describe a successful female leader?

No not that one. The "F" word I mean is "Feminine". Should we treat it the same way as the real "F" word? Or as just one of many attributes of certain types of successful female leaders?

This conflict occurred as I tried to describe the attributes of successful leaders that I work with during a TV interview. The word came out and the host immediately jumped on me. I was waffling and trying to explain the right context when time ran out.

I was thinking of some who project a very feminine style along with an absolute focus on execution and getting results. It's not intentional or manipulative but just who they are. They are warm, touchy and very appealing; but don't ever think of not delivering on your commitments. So what's wrong with this description? Can a woman be feminine and successful at the same time?

Certainly the situation will impact on how you are received - being feminine in some settings is a positive, in others it's a disaster. Probably not good for an attorney but okay for someone in the non-profit arts business.

Now add any other word that we've been taught to avoid when describing a female executive. That you've been told to supress.

So is it better to stifle certain things about you and try to act the way others expect you to or do you try to find a place where your true self can thrive?

There's no right or wrong answer but I think we can be most successful when we act authentically in those places where it's valued. If feminine is a way you feel or is important to you - don't stifle it, just find places where it's valued. Conversely if you want to act like "one of the boys" that's okay too. The real you is most powerful when it feels most authentic to you.

Successful women usually figure this out. They arrive at places in their careers where their authentic self works. They are happy and getting great results. Others who are not as successfully tend to struggle with fitting in and being someone that may no longer work for them. So instead of fitting it; find the right fit.

Attend our July 17th program to find out how you can become the most successful and powerful person that you want to be by being exactly who you are. To learn from executives who are as comfortable in their own skin as they are in driving serious results.

So if the "F" word is you, don't be afraid to use it.